In communication, self-disclosure is the process of sharing personal information about yourself with someone else or with a group of people. Self-disclosure can be a significant part of a conversation, potentially encouraging a more meaningful relationship. When done inappropriately, however, self-disclosure can potentially damage a relationship, according to EBSCO.^{(See disclaimer 1 )}

If you’re interested in studying the art of communication and how to be strategic in expression, consider becoming a communications major. At GCU, you can choose from a range of communications degrees. You can study interpersonal communication, small group communication and mass communication, and you can take a closer look at questions such as, What is self-disclosure and why is self-disclosure important in communication?

What does self-disclosure mean in communication? Self-disclosure refers to how an individual may communicate personal information to others. This information includes their thoughts and feelings, such as their opinions.

In communication, self-disclosure is an intentional act. A person chooses — or not — to reveal highly personal information about their thoughts and emotions. Self-disclosure is an important part of building a close relationship; while both parties participate in it, they can learn about each other.

Typically, at the start of an interpersonal relationship, individuals may exchange less personal information and discuss neutral topics that do not spark intense feelings. As the relationship progresses, the individuals may begin to share more personal experiences, thoughts and feelings.^{(See disclaimer 1)}

How Self-Disclosure Differs From General Personal Disclosure

Self-disclosure and general personal disclosure aren’t the same thing. In self-disclosure, individuals make themselves emotionally vulnerable by sharing deeply private thoughts and feelings. Self-disclosure can reveal a person’s core values, secret fears and complex emotions.

In contrast, general personal disclosure lacks depth and intimacy. It’s the exchange of neutral biographical data about less emotionally charged topics. For example, it can encompass telling someone else their place of birth, job title or preferred hobbies.

Self-disclosure is important for communicating in close, personal relationships because it facilitates a meaningful connection and mutual trust. It can also create a pathway for social support, according to VeryWell Mind.^{(See disclaimer 2)}

Building Relationships 

Self-disclosure is crucial for building intimate relationships, whether with a friend, family member or partner. In the early stages of a relationship, both individuals may progress with a bit of caution, sharing some personal information but reserving deeply personal thoughts and feelings. As the relationship progresses, sharing information about core values and hidden emotions can help forge a more meaningful connection and an emotional bond.^{(See disclaimer 2)}

Fostering Trust

Healthy relationships require a foundation of mutual trust. As the individuals in the relationship increasingly feel they can trust each other, they may feel free to share more deeply personal information. The act of sharing intimate information creates an emotional vulnerability. When the other person treats that information respectfully, it can serve to foster even more trust.^{(See disclaimer 2)}

Facilitating Social Support

Intimate relationships are a key form of social support. Self-disclosure can facilitate the building of support networks.^{(See disclaimer 2)} In fact, self-disclosure is a necessary precursor to supportive communication, according to Oxford Academic. Self-disclosure can lead to psychological benefits, including reduced stress, thanks in part to social support.^{(See disclaimer 3)}

The primary element of self-disclosure in communication is that the information shared must be deeply personal. For example, it must be information shared about that person’s core values or inner thoughts and feelings. The individual must also share that information intentionally.

Other elements of self-disclosure include honesty, authenticity and appropriateness.

Honesty and Authenticity

Self-disclosure requires that the information shared be truthful. In order to cultivate a trusting relationship through self-disclosure, it’s essential for each person to be honest, as well as to reflect their authentic selves.

Timing and Appropriateness

Timing is another key consideration. Sharing deeply personal information requires having plenty of time to explore it. If Jane only has about five minutes before she has to leave for work, then it isn’t the best time to speak with John about her inner thoughts and feelings. Instead, Jane should wait until there is enough time and privacy to have an in-depth conversation with John.

Appropriateness also plays a role in self-disclosure. Certain information should not be shared within certain relationships. For example, a student may not be well-served by sharing highly personal information about their childhood when speaking with a professor during office hours. Nor should an individual begin a new relationship by sharing too much information.

On the other hand, friends who have a reasonably close relationship may indeed grow closer together through self-disclosure.

There are different levels of self-disclosure, and it's natural for an intimate relationship to progress through them, starting with the least private information and progressing to highly personal information.

For example, if Jane and John are just beginning to date, they might start with surface-level information. John might say, for example, "I don't understand most of the slang the kids use these days. It makes me feel old." This type of self-disclosure shares somewhat private thoughts, but not thoughts that would generally create emotional vulnerability.

From there, Jane and John might progress to more private personal disclosures. For example, Jane might say something like, "I had to give a presentation at work in front of the whole department and I felt so nervous. I think I had a panic attack."

As the relationship progresses, Jane and John might begin to share highly personal information that creates emotional vulnerabilities, such as their secret hopes and fears, and how they feel about each other.

As essential as self-disclosure is for relationships, it’s also important to look beyond the self-disclosure definition to best practices.

Deciding Whether To Disclose

Self-disclosure isn’t always spontaneous; sometimes, it is planned. Before disclosing highly personal information about yourself, consider the nature and depth of the relationship. Have you known the other person for a long time? Have the two of you previously exchanged personal information? Is the particular piece of information you’re thinking of disclosing appropriate to share?

Consider Your Reason for Disclosing

It can be worthwhile to reflect on what your reason for disclosing information might be. Are you seeking social support? Do you need to vent or clear your conscience? Are you trying to strengthen the relationship by creating an emotional bond?

Respect Personal Boundaries

It’s a good idea to start by disclosing information that isn’t emotionally charged or deeply personal. This can allow you to gauge the other person’s comfort level. If the person seems uncomfortable with the information you’ve shared, then it’s not appropriate to share even more deeply personal information. It’s important to respect the other person’s emotional boundaries.

Give as Much as You Take

A healthy, intimate relationship is mutually beneficial to both individuals. Remember that the other person may also be seeking social support and a sense of fellowship from you.

When the other person is disclosing personal information, it’s important to give them your full attention. Use active listening skills, acknowledge and validate their feelings, refrain from judgment and demonstrate empathy and compassion.

You can study foundational and advanced communications skills at GCU by enrolling in the Bachelor of Arts in Communications degree program. Examine strategies for small group communication, intercultural communication and conflict resolution. Further your education with the Master of Arts in Communication with an Emphasis in Education degree and examine advanced competencies in media literacy and pedagogy.

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