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The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author’s and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Grand Canyon University. Any sources cited were accurate as of the publish date.
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Whether you're introverted or extroverted, we’ve all experienced the feeling of being stuck in a conversation — bored, unsure of what to say or feeling awkward. So, how do we avoid this? How do we make our conversations more life-giving? How do we truly connect with others? The answer is curiosity.
I believe curiosity is a superpower. God created us as relational beings with the natural ability to converse, relate and ask questions. Yet, we often lack the tools to do these things well.
During my student leadership training, a professional from Bunger Coaching taught us the art of curiosity. It completely transformed my view on conversations and equipped me to love and serve others better. By becoming more mindful, practicing these techniques and embracing curiosity, I've formed deeper connections and experienced conversations full of color.
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While it may not be immediately apparent or frequently discussed, curiosity can be a powerful spiritual practice. God calls us to love, serve and listen to one another, and I believe one of the ways we can live this out is through being curious, asking meaningful questions and genuinely seeking to understand others.
I encourage you to practice curiosity this week. Think about a recurring conversation you have —perhaps with your boss during a weekly meeting, a younger person you’re disciplining or a friend you walk to class with. Approach your next conversation with curiosity and observe how it creates a connection and makes the conversation more enjoyable. To go a step further, consider how you can serve them based on what you’ve learned. For example, if you find out your friend loves a particular drink from Grand Canyon Beverage Company (GCBC), bring it to them on your next walk to class!
Another beautiful aspect of curiosity is that it can enrich your conversations with God. Just as we ask questions to better understand those around us, we can ask questions to deepen our relationship with Him. Take time to explore curiosity in your spiritual life, whether through journaling, prayer or simply reflecting on His character. Dive into His mysteries and let curiosity guide you to a greater understanding of His vast and infinite nature.
Understanding that there are different types of questions can improve your conversations by helping you match your approach to your goals. Whether you want to keep things light, gather information, guide the discussion or build connections, knowing when to use each type can make a big difference in how the conversation flows.
First, there are closed questions, which typically elicit short responses like "yes" or "no." These tend to be more superficial and quickly halt a conversation. Here are a few examples:
While closed questions aren’t inherently negative, they work best when used as a starting point to bridge into deeper conversations.
Next, we have questions designed to gather information. These can overlap with closed questions and are often used when meeting someone, making small talk or keeping a conversation going. Here are a few examples:
When we ask these types of questions, it's like playing the role of a detective — seeking facts out of curiosity in our interests rather than the other person's.
Leading questions are phrased in a way that suggests there is a "right" answer, guiding the person toward a specific response. The person asking the question is essentially steering the conversation in the direction they want. Here are a few examples:
As you might notice, these types of questions can come across as somewhat condescending, almost like a parent asking. They imply that the questioner believes they are the expert. It’s important to be cautious when asking leading questions, as it’s never a good idea to assume someone’s true thoughts or feelings.
Finally, we have the most effective type of questions for creating meaningful and engaging conversations — curious questions! The goal of these questions is to explore and genuinely show interest in the other person. Here are a few examples:
Curious questions often begin with words such as “what,” “where,” “when,” “how,” “who,” or “if.” They are open, powerful, humble and energizing!
