I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.
Psalm 34:4NIV
Knowledge is one of the best medicines for anxiety — so much of what we fear is what we don’t know. By researching churches, you can learn which ones you’re more likely to identify with and reassure yourself.
Ask yourself questions such as: what principles and values are the most important to me? Most churches have mission statements on their websites that voice their priorities. Time and location are also important. If you don’t feel confident that you can wake up early for a 9 am service, make sure there is a 11 am; a closer church may be more convenient, but another may be worth the long drive. Another component to consider is groups, ministries and church events. These can tell you a lot about who attends services and more about the values of the church. Is there a young adult study group? A children’s ministry? A BBQ-cookout?
But keep in mind that there is only so much research you can do before you just have to pick. Sometimes, we run into the problem of having too many options and feel pressure to get a church we like right from the get-go. In this case, prepare a few backups in case your first pick doesn't turn out how you planned.
If getting in a car and driving to church still seems overwhelming, that’s okay! Taking steps to prepare yourself for church can be just as meaningful as attending in person, as long as you get there eventually.
You can get the full benefits of church by going in person, but online services may offer a smoother transition from not attending church at all to regular attendance. Churches that offer online services can teach newcomers what a service looks like and allow them to see how compatible they are with the church. Once you know what you’ll be walking into, you may feel more confident showing up in person.
Another baby step you can take is starting with a community of two: you and your friend. Start with another Christian who can share in your spiritual journey and hold you accountable. One-on-one bible study, journaling together, long conversations about faith and praying together are all ways you can build up your community and your confidence.
Christians who belong to a church can help show you the ropes and acquaint you with fellow members, groups and ministries. More often than not, they will tend to be excited to share their faith and have you in their community. You don’t have to be best friends with this person, as long as you trust them.
They don’t necessarily have to be Christian either — if they are skeptical of religion or Christianity, tell them to think of it more as a friend coming with you to the doctor’s office. Sure, a doctor’s visit may not benefit your friend directly but by accompanying you, they're supporting you in doing what's best for your well-being — something they hopefully care about as your friend. Worst case, they sit through an hour or so of worship and conversation — not exactly the worst thing in the world. And after the first visit, you may feel confident enough to go back on your own next week.
But if you ask and they seem uncomfortable or against going, don’t burden them by making them come with you. At the end of the day, it is on you to take yourself to church and stand on your faith, not anybody else.
