With these principles in place, under what circumstances should we speak or shut up? In short, we should speak to the right person at the right time with the right motives. If the person won’t listen to us, we should refrain from the conversation. The fool in Proverbs despises good sense and attempts to argue with a fool will only make the fool quarrelsome (Proverbs 23:9; 29:9). This is what it means to respond to a fool “according to his folly,” and it will only make us a fool ourselves (Proverbs 26:4).
Conversely, if someone is willing to listen to us, then we have an opportunity to impart wisdom to them. To the listening ear, “a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver” and “a gold ring or an ornament of gold” (Proverbs 25:11-12). So, before you speak, think about whether the person will listen. Perhaps you aren’t the right person to engage them, or perhaps you can try at another time when they are more apt to hear from you.
Finally, consider your motives. Are you merely wanting to quarrel and argue as does the fool (Proverbs 20:3)? Are you interested, like the righteous, in listening in order to give a more thoughtful response (Proverbs 15:28; 18:13), or do you just want to express your opinion as does the fool (Proverbs 18:2, 13)? Is the issue worth defending, or should the fool be ignored (Proverbs 12:16)? Is it an issue that involves you, or is it someone else’s conversation to have (Proverbs 26:17)? Entering a conversation with the right person at the right time with the right motives is crucial if we wish to see lasting fruit from our speech.